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My opinion on children
Posted by KarinaFabian on Monday, July 14, 2008 (22:02:53) (133 reads)
I've been asked to tell you about my experiences with and opinions of kids. Sounds like good fodder for a few blogs, anyway.
Before my encounter with St. George, back when I had my full size and majesty, I thought of kids like some humans think of prairie dogs--cute to look at from a distance, as long as they stayed out of my yard. And I had a big yard.
I've mentioned the Pope's niece, I'm sure. Sweet kid, very smart. Treated me like a scaly cat. A pampered scaly cat, so that was fine. When a demon possessed her to get at her uncle, I was the first to notice. St. George dies exorcising that evil spirit. Very sad. She grew up to be a lovely lady, but she was never quite the same.
After that, I went elsewhere to work for the Church, but well, I was mostly working with priests and brothers. Not a lot of kids. Well, except that stint in the orphanage... Let's not talk about that today. I just ate.
So most of my experience has come from dealing with Mundane children. Mundane children who have had way too many years of seeing dragons on television and video games, thank you very much. Most seem to think I'm the most freaking cool thing they've ever seen--didn't say they were dumb--but they do have some interesting misconceptions. 'Course, Mundane adults do, too. Comes from watching the same shows and playing the same games.
I'll tell you more next week, but the short answer for this week is. "Get off my back, kid; I'm not a carnival ride."
Dr. Who, Donna Noble, St. George and Me
Posted by KarinaFabian on Monday, July 07, 2008 (14:48:54) (92 reads)
NOTE: Contains spoilers of Season Four Ender.
Not too long ago, I became a Dr. Who fan, and through the magic of Torrent downloads, have been able to see the fourth season finale. In it, in the process of saving the universes (hey, that's familiar!), Donna Noble absorbs all the Doctor's knowledge. For a few phenomenal minutes in which she glories in her incredible wisdom, but of course, the human mind can't handle a Time Lord's knowledge. He wipes her memory, not only of his knowledge but of all her memories with him, and dumps her back with her family where she takes up her limited life as if nothing unusual had ever happened.
I know it's fiction and normally, I'm not one to get too tied up in the tragedies of mortals, but this one struck a cord. Being with the Doctor teaches brings out a lot of great qualities Donna didn't realize she had. Then, of course, she gets a taste of real greatness. And has it all taken from her.
Been there, done that, thanks to St. George. The only difference is, I remember what it's like to have the full glory of a dragon--the incredible knowledge, the strength, the magic--and I know I'll get it all back. Poor Donna not only doesn't get to remember, she doesn't even know she can be more than she is when he leaves her. Just a temp whose big events in life are gossiping with her friends and arguing with her mum.
Faerie S&M
Posted by KarinaFabian on Monday, June 30, 2008 (15:42:03) (107 reads)
Sometimes the mix of Faerie and Mundane takes an some unusual twists. Thought you might enjoy this one.
We were on a case and one of our suspects was hanging out in Fierce and Fae, an S&M club outside the city limits. Naturally, a nun would either stick out like a sore thumb or be a target, so I went alone.
I'll spare you the details of the place--kids might be reading this--but this human approached me, practically drooling at the site of me. Not that I minded; 'bout time some Mundane recognized my magnificence. Anyway, he says, "Please! Breathe fire on me. Slap me with your tail!"
Was this guy for real? I looked him over. He seemed sincere enough. "You'd actually enjoy that?"
"Oh, yes, great dragon, please!"
I sure wasn't going to hurt him--I'd lose major points with the Almighty. But he did call me "great dragon." And he did have a certain style in his groveling. Figured he deserved a little something.
I gave him my haughtiest look and told him, "No." Then I stalked past, flipping my tail. I purposely missed him.
Zombie Slaying Done Right
Posted by KarinaFabian on Monday, June 23, 2008 (15:45:57) (145 reads)
My article, "The Faerie Truth Behind the Fairy Tales" has been accepted for the anthology Mother Goose is Dead edited by Michele Acker and Kirk Dougal for DragonMoon Press.
I've never really understood the allure of re-animating the dead. You end up with a decaying corpse with no frontal lobe activity whatsoever, which means they can handle one or two emotionally-based commands. (Usually, the bad guy is going for "Kill!" rather than "Cry like a momma's boy," but you never know. I've heard of another emotionally based command, but it's just too sick and wrong to mention here.)
So when it comes to killing a zombie, guns are about as effective as arrows, and even less effective than stone knives. Their vital organs are no longer vital, and their minds are on automatic, responding to the order placed in them by a spell. So forget the torso--it's their least weak area. For a shot to be effective, you'd have to either destroy the hind-brain or sever the brain from the spinal cord. In both cases, they'll have to have their back to you, in which case, the better idea is to run while you can and find a better weapon. (Depending on their state of decay, zombies are either stone deaf or can hardly hear over the squishing sounds of their own flesh.) You want to sever the limbs or decapitate them. Your Highlander movie had that right. ("When the head comes away from the neck, it's over.")
The best way to overcome a zombie is the old-fashioned slice-and-dice (no, the individual parts don't re-animate, unless you have some serious voodoo going on, in which case, shuffling corpses muttering "Brains! Brains!" is the least of your worries.) Grenades or explosive charges also work, but they're messy. Flame throwers work eventually, but they take longer to work. Zombies don't feel pain, after all, and they'll keep on shuffling until their limbs crumble to ash. Plus, it really stinks; take my word for it.
Other unique ways to take out zombies: big pits, smash them with heavy objects (something solid, they can't crawl out of), coax them into wet cement, spray them with acid (lots and lots of acid)... Anything that physically incapacitates the body.
If you have any unique ideas or questions, contact me I'll post them.
Karina's Blogging her Progress on Live and Let Fly
Posted by KarinaFabian on Thursday, June 19, 2008 (15:34:16) (106 reads)
Karina is writing the next DragonEye, PI novel, Live and Let Fly. She's decided to blog about her process and progress. Check it out at www.fabianspace.blogspot.com.
How people react to a dragon
Posted by KarinaFabian on Friday, May 30, 2008 (14:09:11) (140 reads)
Sometimes, I get asked about how people react around me. Naturally, everyone's different, but after an eternity, I've gotten myself a system for gaging crowds. Imagine a 3-dimensional graph. The X axis ranges from "Run Screaming" to "Swarm the Pretty Dragon!" the Y axis goes from Disdain to Awe, and the Z axis (added for you Mundanes) ranges from "Paparazzi" to "Free Photo Op!"
Graph: This is just to show you what a 3d-graph might look like. This one is for engine torque, not human reactions; wonder if I should make one to predict my torque-off points?
I've then broken the chart into 10 areas. We begin at the origin point with Area One: Run Screaming/Return with Sharpened Pitchforks, move through environmental protestors and up until we get to school science fair projects and finally end up at Area Ten: Mobs of People Want to Take Photos of Their Kid On My Back.
Naturally, I prefer if you stay somewhere around 5 or 6.
Memorial Day Wishes
Posted by KarinaFabian on Monday, May 26, 2008 (16:21:42) (119 reads)
Even though I'm not a citizen of the United States (thank the INS for that), I have a deep appreciation for this country with its many freedoms, privileges and responsibilities it takes upon itself. I also cannot die, but I've known many others who have died defending what they believed in. So today, Grace and I say thanks to the veterans of the United States and pray for the souls of those who died defending it.
How the Irish see things
Posted by KarinaFabian on Monday, May 19, 2008 (11:43:20) (130 reads)
Karina is going through the transcript for Magic, Mensa and Mayhem and tells me I use passive voice too much. Know what I think? I think she should stop doing word searches for "was." Half the time I'm talking in progressive, not passive, but she's wondering if that's a problem, too.
I'm going to have a talk with her. I may need to use The Grin. In the meantime, someone sent this to Grace and she thought this is just how the Irish believe the weather should be.
One of my earliest cases made it to this anthology. Order More Info
About Karina Fabian
What People Say About DragonEye, PI:
A good example of both comic relief and a story that keeps the reader on their toes is Karina Fabian's Dragon Eye, P.I. I look forward to meeting Vern again as Karina expands his repertoire of adventures. --Bibliophile's Retreat
Publisher's Weekly: Well-imagined and densely plotted with distinctly memorable and occasionally silly characters and groan-worthy puns.
Magic, Mensa & Mayhem made me laugh, everything from quiet chuckles to outright snorts. --Jody Lynn Nye
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